Well, I've faced my first real wave of professional disappointment. My niece's birthday is at the end of September and I was going to leave on a Thursday night so I could make it to a dinner with my family on Friday. Except, I have an interview that Friday morning. Which is awesome, I mean, it's an interview for a real job for after graduation. Which is fantastic- I'm extremely excited/nervous. But I'll have to miss the dinner. It's ok, I'll still make it to her actual party on Saturday, but it would have been nice to hang out with just the family. Ah well, I can't complain. I got chosen for an interview which is awesome!
The apartment is set up and looking great. Being on the third floor does wonders for my glutes, but hauling the groceries and taking the dog out a few times a day really sucks :) I need the exercise!
Speaking of which, I've started getting up early, eating better, and actually working out. It's done wonders- my mood has improved, I've been super productive, and my classes seem to be going smoothly.
However,the integration back into Drake has been a challenge of sorts. I feel like an outsider- I've missed out on a lot of opportunities and it's difficult to get back into the social swing of things. But hey, I'm here to focus on school, right?
I miss my friends back home, though. I'm so grateful I was able to see so many before I left. It was humbling to see how many people made time for me at such short notice. I felt seriously loved <3 And when I moved in, ten people showed up to help. I was overwhelmed with the outpouring of support. I'm a lucky, lucky girl.
Anyways, I know this post is boring, but it's just an update. Hopefully I have a lot more (interesting) things to say later. I'm starting to consider Barrister's Ball- hopefully I can find someone to "hang with" there, there's nothing more awkward than being alone, slightly tipsy while in a formal dress. Eeeps.
Until next time <3
Saturday, September 6, 2014
Monday, August 25, 2014
Can't Fight The Villain
Ah, the tempestuous mistress that is law school has consumed me. I'm at my carrel, enjoying my very own light and space by the window (!!!) and realizing that 1L me would have been way more excited. Don't get me wrong, there's something appealing about having one's own space; but this year is different. At some point, I drank the Kool-Aid.
I'm tired, I'm jaded, and I'm panicking about the impending monster that is the "real world." I'm looking around at my peers- presidents of this club and that, elected student government officials, law review aficionados, and all I can do is melt into a pool of complete self-doubt. When I think about myself in the "satellite sense," I feel like I'm just as qualified as the rest of them- my grades are pretty good, I'm involved in multiple groups, etc. etc. etc. but law school has this....special way of making you think of yourself comparatively- you'll never measure up.
Oh well. I should really start some homework. I think I blacked out for a year- I vaguely remember going to a different law school and being extremely underwhelmed the entire time. But hey, I'm back, and I'm ready to party.
Bring it on, 3L year.
I'm tired, I'm jaded, and I'm panicking about the impending monster that is the "real world." I'm looking around at my peers- presidents of this club and that, elected student government officials, law review aficionados, and all I can do is melt into a pool of complete self-doubt. When I think about myself in the "satellite sense," I feel like I'm just as qualified as the rest of them- my grades are pretty good, I'm involved in multiple groups, etc. etc. etc. but law school has this....special way of making you think of yourself comparatively- you'll never measure up.
Oh well. I should really start some homework. I think I blacked out for a year- I vaguely remember going to a different law school and being extremely underwhelmed the entire time. But hey, I'm back, and I'm ready to party.
Bring it on, 3L year.
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
2L and Back
well, here I am at a different law school. I came to this one thinking that perhaps if I were closer to my home and those that I love, that my mental state would improve. Whether it has or not, the jury is still out. I'm beginning to think there's nothing you can do to 'improve' your mental state in law school. You just take each punch, all day every day, and try to maintain. As long as you're still standing at the end of it, you've won.
I worry that I've made a huge mistake. This school is completely different than my last. The culture here is entirely different. I came from a school (I realize, now) that was in an area full of opportunities. The faculty and staff were at the peak of professionalism and the curriculum (I realize, now) was fantastic. Here, it is far more relaxed and the classes are a lot easier. Which on the one hand, is great, because who doesn't love easier? On the other hand, I want and need to be challenged. I need the pressure of the high-stakes game to keep myself disciplined. Plus, I want to come out of law school well-prepared and knowledgeable about what area I want to go into. I'm starting to think that my last school would have been a better place for this preparation.
In addition to all of this (very real) concerns, I have a petty superficial one, as well. Law school is NOT somewhere you'd want to be the 'new kid.' The key bonds have been created between people in their 1L year. Those that stuck by you are in your alliance, and they likely always will be. It's like surviving a traumatic event together; you can't just erase that kind of connection. I have no one here as my ally. Every clique (yes, those happen) has already been established and they're not exactly welcoming of new faces. But that's ok- it's something I understand. Law school is a place where you don't want to waste your time with people who can't be trusted, but you also can't waste energy trying to figure out if someone is. By going through the first year together, you've proven yourselves to each other. Lacking that experience, no one is really interested in learning what I'm made of.
Ultimately, I'm ok with this aspect of why I spend my time here virtually alone or superficially chatting with random classmates. I mean, it's not like I would hang out with anyone outside of class, anyways. Between homework, a relationship, and an awesome best friend/ roommate, my social calendar is full enough, thank you. I'm more of a homebody, now, anyways. I prefer to surround myself with those I know and love. What actually bothers me, though, is that some of my classmates think that I'm a gunner, only because I answer questions in class and do the readings. How is that being a gunner?? What was considered slacking at my former school, is considered 'gunning' here. I am constantly caught between deciding whether I should answer the question, because the teacher is staring at the class awkwardly as everyone shakes in uncertain silence, or just join my cohorts in their deafening, unprepared silence.
I guess I just miss my old school. I had a close friend up there, I knew how their system worked, and I had established contacts and important relationships that may now mean nothing since I won't be there to maintain them. Maybe I'm just worrying for nothing. Or maybe I'll just have to amp up my game and work harder than I ever have to maintain the best possible grades in addition to expanding my professional network. I still have a long road ahead of my and I need to either choose to make the best of it or let myself fail. The latter just isn't an option.
Hm. 2L year almost half over....so far so good?
I worry that I've made a huge mistake. This school is completely different than my last. The culture here is entirely different. I came from a school (I realize, now) that was in an area full of opportunities. The faculty and staff were at the peak of professionalism and the curriculum (I realize, now) was fantastic. Here, it is far more relaxed and the classes are a lot easier. Which on the one hand, is great, because who doesn't love easier? On the other hand, I want and need to be challenged. I need the pressure of the high-stakes game to keep myself disciplined. Plus, I want to come out of law school well-prepared and knowledgeable about what area I want to go into. I'm starting to think that my last school would have been a better place for this preparation.
In addition to all of this (very real) concerns, I have a petty superficial one, as well. Law school is NOT somewhere you'd want to be the 'new kid.' The key bonds have been created between people in their 1L year. Those that stuck by you are in your alliance, and they likely always will be. It's like surviving a traumatic event together; you can't just erase that kind of connection. I have no one here as my ally. Every clique (yes, those happen) has already been established and they're not exactly welcoming of new faces. But that's ok- it's something I understand. Law school is a place where you don't want to waste your time with people who can't be trusted, but you also can't waste energy trying to figure out if someone is. By going through the first year together, you've proven yourselves to each other. Lacking that experience, no one is really interested in learning what I'm made of.
Ultimately, I'm ok with this aspect of why I spend my time here virtually alone or superficially chatting with random classmates. I mean, it's not like I would hang out with anyone outside of class, anyways. Between homework, a relationship, and an awesome best friend/ roommate, my social calendar is full enough, thank you. I'm more of a homebody, now, anyways. I prefer to surround myself with those I know and love. What actually bothers me, though, is that some of my classmates think that I'm a gunner, only because I answer questions in class and do the readings. How is that being a gunner?? What was considered slacking at my former school, is considered 'gunning' here. I am constantly caught between deciding whether I should answer the question, because the teacher is staring at the class awkwardly as everyone shakes in uncertain silence, or just join my cohorts in their deafening, unprepared silence.
I guess I just miss my old school. I had a close friend up there, I knew how their system worked, and I had established contacts and important relationships that may now mean nothing since I won't be there to maintain them. Maybe I'm just worrying for nothing. Or maybe I'll just have to amp up my game and work harder than I ever have to maintain the best possible grades in addition to expanding my professional network. I still have a long road ahead of my and I need to either choose to make the best of it or let myself fail. The latter just isn't an option.
Hm. 2L year almost half over....so far so good?
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Something You Find Yourself Saying A Lot...
"You just don't get it. And you won't."
It's true, though. You find yourself trying to explain situations to those you love who aren't in law school, and without the ability to convey the intricacies and subtleties that go along with your daily interactions that takes them from normal to crazy in an instant, no one can fully understand the gravity of it all.
Law school is this unique place where best friends would sooner throw one another into a Colosseum full of lions that haven't eaten in a couple weeks than see the other get one GPA point higher.
People are shockingly childish. Especially at smaller law schools.
There is no such thing as an underachiever. Trust me, they were weeded out first semester. And the rest will be this semester.
Everyone is struggling to be defined.
I don't know. Maybe it'll all calm down after our first year. Maybe we're all kind of trying to figure this all out and we're just throwing spaghetti at a wall just to see what will stick.
Nothing can prepare you for a place like this. It's like intellectual bootcamp, but for immature egoists who need their self-esteem stroked in order to stay afloat.
It's true, though. You find yourself trying to explain situations to those you love who aren't in law school, and without the ability to convey the intricacies and subtleties that go along with your daily interactions that takes them from normal to crazy in an instant, no one can fully understand the gravity of it all.
Law school is this unique place where best friends would sooner throw one another into a Colosseum full of lions that haven't eaten in a couple weeks than see the other get one GPA point higher.
People are shockingly childish. Especially at smaller law schools.
There is no such thing as an underachiever. Trust me, they were weeded out first semester. And the rest will be this semester.
Everyone is struggling to be defined.
I don't know. Maybe it'll all calm down after our first year. Maybe we're all kind of trying to figure this all out and we're just throwing spaghetti at a wall just to see what will stick.
Nothing can prepare you for a place like this. It's like intellectual bootcamp, but for immature egoists who need their self-esteem stroked in order to stay afloat.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Oh. Well then.
So....yeah. Facebook.
I just realized that when I posted this on there, everyone could see.
Don't judge my rants lol.
60 page views later.....
I just realized that when I posted this on there, everyone could see.
Don't judge my rants lol.
60 page views later.....
Insomnia, you familiar friend.
1) I freaking love Property Law. I know we're only a couple weeks in, but geez. It's so comprehensive and full of all of these twists and turns, such as the fact that you potentially have a right to the items you stole. Well, at least more of a right than someone who stole them from you. The only person who has more of a right to that property is the rightful owner. If they don't know or aren't party to a suit against you, the courts pretend like they don't exist.
2) This is a whole new breed of can't sleep. Wine helps but I don't want to become that person who has to have wine to sleep. Which, is laughable, because I literally pour two swallows in a tiny glass- but still.
3) Let the bookception begin! I am now the proud owner of five books that explain our books. Yayyyyy!! I hope these help :-/
4) Next week is Trial Practicum, which is cool because we get to watch a trial and not go to class. The downside is we have to make up Legal Research and Contracts because those teachers are humorless and don't want us to enjoy anything. (Just kidding!) It also kinda sucks because we have a huge Appellate Brief due March 1st, and we'll be in Trial Practicum from 8-5 every day for a week. Oy. Bring it on, law school!
5) I miss you all! Jen and Katie are heading up to the DSM this weekend to get crazzzzyyyyy. Or, you know, as crazy as we get these days. We're old lol
<3
2) This is a whole new breed of can't sleep. Wine helps but I don't want to become that person who has to have wine to sleep. Which, is laughable, because I literally pour two swallows in a tiny glass- but still.
3) Let the bookception begin! I am now the proud owner of five books that explain our books. Yayyyyy!! I hope these help :-/
4) Next week is Trial Practicum, which is cool because we get to watch a trial and not go to class. The downside is we have to make up Legal Research and Contracts because those teachers are humorless and don't want us to enjoy anything. (Just kidding!) It also kinda sucks because we have a huge Appellate Brief due March 1st, and we'll be in Trial Practicum from 8-5 every day for a week. Oy. Bring it on, law school!
5) I miss you all! Jen and Katie are heading up to the DSM this weekend to get crazzzzyyyyy. Or, you know, as crazy as we get these days. We're old lol
<3
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
ANNOUNCEMENT!
I...
wait for it....
MADE DEAN'S LIST! I made Dean's List for my first semester of law school!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wait for it....
MADE DEAN'S LIST! I made Dean's List for my first semester of law school!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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